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 Upgrade delay causes cockup
12/27/06 07:31:38
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Once again, the FBI’s archaic computer system is causing some embarrassing foul ups, only this time the information that’s been lost is likely to make reporters, in the words of Al Pacino in The Insider, pissed off and curious:
The FBI is missing nearly a quarter of its files relating to investigations of recent leaks of classified information, according to a court filing the bureau made last week.
In response to a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit, the FBI said it identified 94 leak investigations since 2001, but that the investigative files in 22 of those cases "are missing" and cannot be located. "There is no physical slip of paper on the shelf which indicates that the file has been charged out to a particular FBI employee, so therefore there is no way of knowing where the file may actually be," an official in the bureau’s records division, Peggy Bellando, wrote in a December 22 declaration.
Over the past decade, the FBI has waged an epic struggle to computerize and automate its records systems. The agency abandoned a $170 million "Virtual Case File" project last year after years of Congressional hearings and critical evaluations led to the conclusion that the system would never be implemented successfully.
Remember that it was the FBI’s outdated computer facilities that drove Opus Dei-porno ’n’ stripper enthusiast and traitor Robert Hanssen around the bend, despite the fact that he was exploiting the system’s weaknesses to gather information for his Russian handlers.
Look, we all know that the government moves as slowly as molasses in winter when it comes to implementing costly, labor-intensive upgrades, but it seems ludicrous that it’s taken the FBI this long to upgrade a computer system, which you’d think would be a tool that G-Men would need to do their work. I guess.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Nor was he strangled by the corpse of Richard Nixon
12/27/06 07:31:00
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I agree with Defamer - this Dana Carvey sketch from SNL, in which he plays Tom Brokaw taping a series of increasingly absurd obits for Gerald Ford, is one of the funniest bits ever. RIP, Gerald Ford.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Judith bites hand that used to feed her
12/27/06 07:05:19
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Just when you thought I was out, Judith Regan pulled me back in. From the department of pots and kettles:
During the roundtable, (Regan) criticized both Bill O’Reilly and the New York Post, the former for spreading "hate and incivility" and the latter for putting trashy celebrity stories on its front page. "What have we come to in our culture?" wondered the publisher of How To Make Love Like a Porn Star.
What’s that fancy Latin terms the lawyers use? Res Ipsa Loquitor? Yeah, that fits.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Spin cycle turned to high
12/24/06 07:00:27
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So by now you’ve all read the letter written by Congressman Virgil Goode regarding his displeasure that un-Christian people are insisting on swearing on their own holy books, rather than the Bible. Fine. Now comes this excuse for Goode’s rant. Bonus points for creativity:
People who know Goode say his comments stem from an intense concern about immigration and its effect on such places as his economically struggling district. R. Wayne Williams Jr., the mayor of Danville, said Goode’s opposition to free trade agreements makes him popular in a district that has been bleeding jobs to overseas plants.
Maybe Goode is truly concerned about "immigration", but Ellison was born in Detroit. Next explanation, please.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Cool and not so much
12/20/06 07:54:51
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Someone (I believe it was Skippy) suggested that I follow the lead of others and post YouTube videos when I’m blocked. Sorry, but this site doesn’t support videos, and getting the necessary upgrade will cost a fortune, so while I do a cost benefit analysis y’all are going to have to settle for links.
Item one: The Bastard Fairies recruit an 8-year old girl to diss O’Reilly in a promotional video.
Item two: O’Reilly responds, in his typically understated, fair and balanced way, by running clips of the video and booking a like-minded guest, suggesting that the child’s parents are inflicting emotional abuse against her and that the authorities need to remove her from her home. Enjoy!
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Work is hell
12/20/06 07:21:29
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Oh Lord, how I do love this. My additions to the list:
- The thin-skinned shrieker: A boss promoted way above his level of competency. Compensates by being suspicious of any- and everyone on the staff whose knowledge or skills could prove a threat. Compensates by backstabbing and periodic fits of hysterical temper.
- The pot-stirrer: This boss’s low attention span and general sadism leads him to pit employee against employee. The reincarnation of the Roman emperor who enjoyed watching Christians being fed to lions or gladiatorial matchups back in the day.
- Yeah, I did that: The boss who takes credit for the accomplishments, even those preceding his or her tenure as the in charge. This prototype is adept at avoiding blame, so screwups are always someone else’s fault.
Your suggestions welcome in the comments section.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Fans of schlock wear the frowny face
12/19/06 08:10:43
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Sadly, the Tom Cruise Scientology vanity project may not be happening after all. Per The Scoop:
Scientology fans shouldn’t hold their breath waiting for Tom Cruise’s movie on the controversial religion. There are published reports that the “Minority Report” star is making “The Thetan” — a flick about Scientology and is casting former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham in a key role. His rep, however, tells The Scoop that there’s no such project in the works. ...
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Fools
12/19/06 08:02:53
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One of the true advantages of being a Jew in America has been that you could rest easy that your holidays would not become fodder for the faux outrage of the "Culture Wars". Once a year, non-Christians can sit back and watch as O’Reilly puts down his falafel and loofah and leads his band of believers into battle as he rages against the outrages committed "against Christmas". At least we can celebrate our holidays in peace, we sigh. We can eat our latkes and spin our dreidels in peace without having to put up with the bloviating of right wing nudnicks.
That is, until now.
Behold this Michael Medved column about Hannukah, which concludes with this lovely thought:
At an odd moment of history when many leaders of the Jewish people are again displaying the ancient, Hellenistic fascination with homosexuality, humanism, relativism and diversity, it’s not surprising that many left-leaning sects and organizations want to hide the genuine themes of Hanukah.
Truth be told, Hannukah is meant to commemorate the miracle of the oil (read more here), but is actually tied more closely than any other Jewish holiday to actual historical events. If one is disinclined to believe that one days’ worth of oil lasted for eight, one can always remember that the Maccabean revolt started in response to the Temple being looted, Jews being massacred, Judaism being outlawed, and finally, Antiochus ordering an alter to Zeus erected in the Temple. The Maccabes, deciding they couldn’t take it anymore, started stirring the pot. Funnily enough, homosexuality never entered into this story..but diversity, a concept unknown to the Seleucid king who ordered all these acts to be committed, certainly does. How ironic.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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The final word (we hope) on Judith Regan
12/19/06 07:20:12
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You know, people talk about schedenfreude like it’s a bad thing. Not so. When the bullying mighty fall and we rejoice, well, what’s so bad about that? Such is the case with Judith Regan, the woman who made a fortune by embracing schlock and unleashing her demons on all the hapless people who surround her, has finally been hoist by her own petard, undone by her uncontrollable temper and her big, fat mouth.
A quickie search brought back such great memories of this hideous woman. From New York magazine:
Judith -- like Monica on the telephone -- is also a great monologuist on the subject of her personal dramas. For Judith, there is her divorce from her money-manager husband -- in court for six years -- which the New York Times has described as among "the most hoary and bitter on the docket." A conversation with her can quickly become a near-violent screed against her husband, men in general, her lawyers (including, at one point, my wife’s law firm), and the legal system as a whole.
She is indeed this insane. I remember calling her to see if she’d be available to appear on a television show I was working on at the time, only to be regaled with a demented outburst detailing the hideousness of her divorce and the bastardy of her husband. From a woman I’d never met. Who I had called to book as a guest. I can’t help but wonder what this terrible woman put her hapless employees through. Whoops, turns out we know:
Many staffers—and other colleagues—had epithets according to their sexual orientation or ethnicity: "I was the lesbian cunt," says one former competitor. "Then there was the black cunt." When she got mad, people were called "fucking retards" and "fucking idiots"; if she got really mad, she’d accuse people of being either "fags" or "on drugs" or, preferably, both. "Judith was always insisting to me I was gay—and if some issue came up that involved women, I knew nothing, because—she’d shout at me—’You’ve never slept with a woman!’ And I was like, O.K., whatever!" says Dana Isaacson, now an editor at Random House.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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Thank you, Sumner Redstone
12/19/06 07:05:26
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...now that Tom Cruise is no longer under your control, he’s now free to "develop his own projects" completely free of adult supervision. Witness the movie that could even surpass the suckiness of Battlefield Earth:
EX-Spice Girl Victoria Beckham is reportedly set to star in Tom Cruise’s new Scientology film as an alien bride.
Britain’s Daily Star newspaper reports that the wife of football star David Beckham has apparently been lined up to play the alien bride in The Thetan - based on the religion, which believes in alien life forms.
.......
Cruise - who is bankrolling the project himself after it was rejected by all the major film studios - is said to have picked Victoria for the role after being impressed by her "comic genius".
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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March on
12/19/06 07:00:36
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You know, there is something so goddamned sad about this story. From Nikki Finke:
Now I’m told via email by Laurent Chalet, the film’s director of photography who spent 13 months in the fierce weather conditions on the coldest spot on earth -- South Pole ice shield of Antarctica -- shooting the film, that he has challenged La Marche De L’Empereur’s credits in the French courts. At issue is whether Luc Jacquet is the sole director, or whether he should share credit and box-office gross with cinematographer Chalet.
...........
At the time of the movie’s release, many media stories focused on Chalet’s incredible filming odyssey. First, Chalet had to find a camera rugged and reliable enough to withstand a year-long shoot in the Antarctic complete with freezing temperatures, sudden storms, and isolation. He selected the Aaton XTRprod and winterized two cameras at Aaton’s factory in Grenoble, France. To film March of the Penguins, the two-person crew, Chalet with Jérôme Maison, lived with the emperor penguins while closely observing their annual ritual of mating, birthing and survival. Once Chalet and Maison arrived in the Antarctic, they did not leave until filming was complete. "Once on the ground, we agreed on a method, a daily routine, which was based on solidarity and enthusiasm," Chalet described to the media. "Instead of taking turns, we worked together as a team. We would get up at 5:30 AM, prepare the equipment for an hour and a half, load four magazines of film (it was out of the question to do this on the ice), get dressed, and take off for a day of shooting, carrying about 130 pounds of equipment each.
It’s not just that the film was amazing, the photography superb, and the fuzzy penguin chicks adorable. It’s that success corrupts so totally and absolutely; that the talented have to fight for every bit of recognition owed them; and that even an innocent nature documentary brings out the avarice and cruelty usually reserved for employees of network news operations and Hollywood studios.
March on, Mr. Chalet. Any man who can work at such a high level while shlepping over a hundred pounds of equipment over ice while enduring temperatures that make even penguins shiver and shake deserves to enjoy the rewards of his work.
Dc Media Girl Permalink
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